Ouch! People make stupid comments all the time. Provocative language is a key element in current culture wars — efforts to generalize and judge others that mostly have no basis in reality.
Case in point: Coming out with zingers that goad stepparents, the people who often step in after a divorce or the death of a parent. Not only is this insensitive, but it is also politically unwise.
Blended families are growing by tens of thousands a month, with the U.S. Census Bureau reporting “1,300 new stepfamilies are formed every day.”
I can’t help but think that the large numbers of stepfamilies may be news to Republican vice presidential candidate J.D. Vance; otherwise, how can he claim Democrats (like VP Kamala Harris) are “a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they’ve made and so they want to make the rest of the country miserable, too.”
This whopper is a perfect example of bizarre comments that go too far. If we don’t stop and think pretty soon, no group will be safe from comments or appear “normal” to anyone else.
After all, stepparents aren’t theoretical; they are real and abundant. Look around your city or state, and you will find adults who are stepparents. These are not aliens threatening your family values. These are American parents trying to establish new family values and solidify family units that may have broken during a crisis.
It may also be politically silly to diss so many well-meaning voters; many melded families represent key voting blocs and live in important swing states. The Pew Research Center, a nonpartisan “fact tank,” states that “young people, blacks, and those without a college degree are significantly more likely to have step-relatives. Among those under age 30, more than half (52%) report that they have at least one step relative.”
In my own family tree, which includes stepparents, and even an aunt and uncle who have stepped into parenting roles, it seems quite appropriate to me. These relationships have turned out to be stabilizing and even vital and, in one case, life-saving. They are a testament to the value of stepfamilies in our society.
As we roll along this election season, try to apply the common-sense test to these hyper-hyperbolic comments.
If we normalize highly divisive and damaging rhetoric, we may become culture warriors ourselves – and in danger of losing our humanity in the process.
